


I'm on Vacation!

by Wild_Card_Writing



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: BAMF Sawada Tsunayoshi, Gen, I kind of hate nana and iemitsu so keep that in mind, No one makes sense to anyone else, Reborn is not ready, Tsuna is Not Dame, Tsuna is So Done, borrows characters from other animes/mangas but not crossovers, no one is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-07-28 17:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16246625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wild_Card_Writing/pseuds/Wild_Card_Writing
Summary: Tsuna had just saved the world from ending (after going through some epic journey and getting stronger. Maybe he gains psychic powers or some sort of metahuman powers) and he finally, finally returns home after months/years only to be faced with Reborn.Features: BAMF Tsuna with utterly no fucks to give about anything, beyond the people he cares about...The Magical Mage AU only some people asked for and that I put too much thought into and ended up with a fanfiction.





	1. Reborn is a Problem Child.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my prompt "I'm on Vacation" from "Prompts for Everyone!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsuna is all about his vacation 120% percent of the time and then Reborn comes strolling in and is like, that's a strange animal and understands nothing. 
> 
> Then he arrives at the Sawada residence and is immediately confused at the cold reception he receives from his new student and is not quite sure what's going on but he is both intrigued and suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate making up OC's so I just borrow characters to fill the empty slots. Not technically a crossover.

“Damn it all to Niflheimr. I’m on Vacation!”

Tsuna hisses as he senses the void of energy enter Namimori, despite every single barrier spell and ward he cast around the borders of his town. He knows full well this person, creature, whatever it is, up to no good because few people would dare to enter the territory of mythical mage just for kicks let alone the town he claims for his own.

He jumps out his bedroom window and casting a wordless barrier around his house as he races down the street. He’s sent ahead his familiars to scope out the intruder and sends a message along to the local mage’s council politely ~~asking~~ demanding answers about the **Sink** running around unchecked and slips on his magi-tech goggles as he climbs on top of a building.

He’ll hang back to observe before jumping into the fray, and connects his mind to his familiars they circle the area looking for the source of the disturbance once, twice and again, and yet nothing immediately jumps out as usual until he zeroes in on a small form coming out of a taxi.

It’s a child, no a toddler, that’s the source of the magical void, and yet something about the baby seems off. If he didn’t know better he’d think he was looking at a Kokiri, an adult in a child’s body… but he knows he isn't. The baby doesn’t feel right, doesn’t act right, and the feeling of wrongness is just too much to belong to a normal baby.

He tells his familiars to hang back just in case and dropping down from his perch on top of a nearby building decides to deal with this problem later. So far the baby hasn’t done anything beyond checking into a hotel and ordering food, and from what he can see of the next twenty-four hours, nothing will happen if he just leaves the baby alone. So feeling like he’s putting far too much effort into watching over a tourist, he heads back home. 

(And if he casts some extra magic to ensure nothing can happen to the town, well, that just an old habit from his days of being an adventurer.)

XXxxxXX

And he was right in the worst of ways as he later discovered a few days later.

The baby didn’t cause any problems for twenty-four hours that was true, but after twenty-four hours he becomes a pain.

A huge pain.

He shows up at his house.

Yet, the news gets even better when he finds out that the baby is here because of his mother and her B.S. that he nearly loses it.

Because he told her.

He told her.

A growl escapes his throat and she jumps as he levels a steely look in her direction.

They’ve had his argument before. School is unnecessary and he hates every single one of those immature little brats and the asshole teachers and nothing she does will make him like them. Still she pushes it.

Even though she knows what happened when he last went there.

She is so focused on him 'fitting in' that she doesn't see anything else he's achieved.

He has a GED, and he has a stable job with good friends. He’s a level twenty class mage for crying out loud, and his magic patents are enough to ensure he never needs to work, even if he never picks up a mission again. He doesn’t need Namimori Middle School and yet here she was ignoring his wishes and—

He forces himself to calm down when he realizes he’s still growling at her. But honesty, she deserved it.  Anyone else wouldn’t dare push his buttons like this, but he and his mother have never seen eye to eye on anything.

Tsuna chances a look at his mother hoping to hear an apology, anything but to his displeasure finds only glee. He feels his temper rising again.

Nana's whole expression crumbs when she sees he's less than pleased, even though she knows he's made his thoughts known about school.

She ~~wisely,~~ cowardly flees the foyer and goes to the kitchen.

No doubt, she'll try and bribe him with food later. Not that it will work. But his mother has never been particularly crafty.

Tsuna fights the urge to run after her and give her a piece of his mind and the house is quiet for a long awkward minute before there's the banging of pots and pans in the kitchen.

Tsuna rubs his forehead.

His mother she may be, but he has lines and she has repeatedly ignored them to cater to her deadbeat husband and the world instead of him. He'll get his own food.

Wiggling his fingers on the side of his leg he sends a short message to a good restaurant he knows before he turns his attention to the home wrecker.

Good grief, even thinking that to himself makes him imagine some sort of affair or something. He seriously needs to get out. He's starting to channel the weird duo and their weird soap opera delusions.

"Follow me," He says crossing his arms and walking up the stairs to his room. If the baby wants to stay in the house some rules need to be set.

Now, preferably before—

A gunshot rings out, and Tsuna doesn’t even blink as the bullet vanishes before it even leaves the barrel. Reborn raises an eyebrow and looking rather suspiciously at Tsuna, as he flips the gun barrel open to check the bullets. One bullet is missing but there no sign of the bullet have left the barrel, it simply vanished. The how's or why's about what happened are beyond the older than life baby, and Tsuna is far too done with the situation in general  to explain why. He didn't invite this tutor in to the house, his mother did. She can be the one to explain why weapons don’t work in the house. He's just so done. If Ren-whatchamacallit person wants to know anything then he better be paying attention, because Tsuna is not going to give him a tutorial.

Namimori isn't for wimps.

Reborn hops from his spot on the floor and tries to kick him instead of firing his gun, but it does nothing as Tsuna dodges by moving to the low table in the middle of his floor.

He is so done with this nonsense.

"Sit boring kid." He says slumping on the table. 

The not-baby frowns and when his second kick fails to land on zombie Tsuna, he eyes him rather strangely.

"My name is Reborn—"

"Whatever home wrecker tutor sent by my mother," Tsuna says glaring at him before he rubs his eyes, looking utter exhausted. He just finished cleaning his room yesterday because his mother threw a fit, why can't he get a break?

"Why are you here?"

Reborn...smirks...?

That's an evil look on a kid, baby, whatever the hell he actually was. 

"So you realize I wasn't—"

"A completely normal baby and are probably here to tell me something I won't like?" Tsuna says far too tired to wait for Boring Born (what was his name again?) to work up his evilness to get to the point. Farore, he thought he was finished with this crap last year. Why is this still a thing?

Reborn frowns. "I wasn't finished. You shouldn't interrupt people." The non-baby demands looking far from pleased. He looks like he wants to take out that strange chameleon gun again, but he doesn't. "Listen when I speak Dame-Tsuna—"

And Tsuna no longer cares about what the baby has to say. It's time the brat left.

No one calls him Dame-Tsuna.

Raising from his seat, Tsuna snaps his fingers and the seat the brat's on strings up. Throwing the brat in the direction of the open window.

It's not magic, he knows that wouldn't work because of the brat's status as a **Sink** , but simply a prank left behind during one of Kaito's visits...and it doesn't work. The brat simply bounces back using the shape-shifting chameleon to float gently to the floor, looking upset or angry. It's hard to tell on a such a baby face.

"You should be nicer to your home tutor." He says as his chameleon changes into a hammer and he jumps up to hit him.

This time instead of the weapon vanishing, the chameleon reappears on the kid's hat looking utterly confused.

Tsuna groans.

Great, he's reached a new level of tiredness when he starts giving Chameleon's emotions. 

He needs a nap. And dinner.

But mostly a nap.

Sliding into bed, he attempts to get some sleep before his order of food comes, but the not-baby decides this is the moment to start talking about dead ancestors and trees or something and Tsuna is just too out of it to care—wait, what?

"Did you says mafia?" Tsuna says jumping up from his comfortable bed.

Boring smirks. "I did. You are going to be the tenth boss of the Vongola Family."

Tsuna blinks and slowly goes back to getting comfortable. "Hell no...Night."

Reborn grits his teeth and reaches out to his desk to pick a book from to wake his student.

His attempt does about the same as his last two attempts.

"Dinner's ready!" Nana's voice calls up firmly reminding the hitman that he had accomplished almost nothing in the hour he spent talking to his student. He hadn't even addressed anything important like Tsuna's grades or that horrible attitude Tsuna gave his mother earlier, let alone why all the weapons in this house seemed to not work. He didn't sense any kind of flames, but that didn't mean anything. Something was strange about the Sawada House and even with the reports Iemitsu sent him on Tsuna nothing was adding up.

Gripping his hat, Reborn squashed the urge to growl.

Somehow, he had a feeling this wasn't going to be anything like when he trained Dino.

"Wake up, Dame—"

Tsuna growled from his nest of blankets. "I'm not going. Now go away."

And like magic, Reborn felt himself being pushed from the room rather forcibly.

A passive form of sky flames maybe?

He didn't know.

It didn't feel like flames.

What was going on the Sawada Household?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, everyone. I have so many thoughts about Nana and Iemitsu and none of them are good. Might be bashing them...? Does this count? I can never tell.
> 
> Sink: a person that can't use magic nor be directly be affected by magic. However, this power is limited to themselves. Seen as outcasts from magical society because of their tendency to go crazy, especially if they live in areas of high magical concentration. 
> 
> Mythical Mage (or Level 20 Magicians): The highest tier in magical society. Given a title and land to command. Magical Governments across the world will often bow down to their wishes to do anything to attract them to their countries. 
> 
> Kokiri: a Magical race that stops aging when they are physically around 8 years old and can live for millenniums. (borrowed from LOZ: Ocarina of a Time)
> 
> Magical World: Unknown to the Normal World, not because of laws but because Normal People or "Absences" cannot see/sense magic and just can't comprehend it. Same for people in the Underworld, unless they have magical relatives or undergo severe magical trauma level 13 or higher.


	2. Sorry, No Refunds for this Dumpster Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsuna meets some more of his teammates and Italy may or may not be standing at the end of the year.

Nana did not look pleased when Reborn came downstairs alone and she continued looking rather longingly at the doorway all throughout dinner. She seemed convinced that Tsuna would appear at any moment, but Reborn doubted that would be the case. He had seen his student climbing into bed after their rather short discussion and considering how angry he was at the pair of them, Reborn wouldn't be surprised if Tsuna refused to see either of them until tomorrow. Across the table, Nana frowned over her bowl of teriyaki chicken but beyond looking a little upset and perhaps a little annoyed she didn’t go upstairs to try and convince Tsuna to come down.  Reborn figured she knew it would be useless, but the reluctance to do anything, even punish Tsuna for his attitude confused him. Most parents would not have taken such disobedience the way Nana had.

Was this an ongoing issue, or another example of failed parenting?

Reborn didn’t know, and there was nothing in the report Iemitsu had handed him either. As far as the paperwork was concerned Sawada Tsunayoshi was just another talent-less wimp, and yet that wasn't what he had seen watching and interacting with his student. Tsunayoshi had looked him straight in the eyes and refused to budge on anything. He had disobeyed his mother, going so far as nearly send her to tears to get his way before retreating upstairs. It was strange because although everything about his actions should have meant Tsuna was little more than a spoiled brat, there had been a real pain in his eyes.

Something had happened, though what it was and how it came between parent and child was unknown. When Tsuna finally retreated to his room, he wasn't just angry, he was drained and considering Reborn knew his student wasn't currently attending school, the question remained. Why was Tsuna so weary and how did the school figure into the equation?

Had he been bullied? Perhaps becoming one a hikikomori? Was there some mental issue?

There were just too many questions and too few answers. 

Pulling his hat over his eyes, Reborn looks up at the ceiling, in the area that would be Tsuna's room, thinking.

This situation was starting to get on his nerves.

He hated not knowing things.

XXxxxxXX

Upstairs, Tsuna himself wasn’t fairing any better. 

He had hoped to nip this little problem in the bud before midnight but it was looking less and less like that it was going to be possible. His information—what little of it there was to gather on the mafia, was not making him feel any better. In fact, it was making him feel very, very  _annoyed_  with his parents.

Apparently, whatever this problem was that suddenly dropped into his lap, his father was partially to blame. Tsuna could clearly remember his father being on that sheet of paper Boring babe had shown him, and yet for some reason, the tutor hadn't mentioned it. At all. Almost as if, he was trying to completely distract from the fact his father was involved and it rubbed Tsuna the wrong way.

 No self-respecting group, company, pod, tribe (whatever a group of mafia people was called) would go to a young and presumably dumb child if they wanted a new leader especially if there was living adult descendant. It just didn't make much sense. A child would take longer to train, and teach, it would just be more realistic to put an adult leader in the position and train them up on the job. The fact that this mafia was trying to do the latter rather than the former was suspicious. Something was amiss and considering his mother's family were farmers, it was likely his father was tied up in this mess somehow.

(He thinks back to all the postage cards the geezer sent him over the course of his life.  He regrets not looking into that sooner. Penguins in the North Pole? Who the fuck was he trying to kid?)

He growls and slumps on the low table. He is very tempted to chuck his magic mirror out the window. Maybe he could get away with only answering his mundane phone and emails for a while.

And then he starts thinking of the consequences.

His brain hurts at the thought.

He can’t.

The rest of the gang doesn’t have a phone or a computer and if they can’t reach him, they will come looking for him. The last thing he needs is to explain to the Japanese government why Namimori ended up destroyed by Opion Magic Guild. They tended to get a little psycho about things like buildings and random craters popping up.

Whatever.

Turning his magic mirror so he could see into the reflection better, Tsuna turns one of the hinges, making the image blur before clearing. In the glass, his informant sneers, all teeth, and Tsuna resist the urge to duck for cover as chills go up to his spine. Hiruma Yoichi was a menace to face normally, but sitting in the screen across from him, Tsuna feels a little trepidation. He may have just opened the doors to hell. Symbolically. 

Hiruma chuckles as if he can hear the thought. 

Looking like a young looking teenager with spiked blond hair and razor-sharp teeth, Hiruma had pitch black eyes that ended in points. The features alone probably wouldn't have meant anything on anyone else, but on Hiruma they were striking enough to catch attention. It was enough to suggest Beyondian, but Tsuna had been a resident of the magical world long enough to sense that Hiruma was not, in fact, Satan’s spawn.

Hiruma flicked a switch on his side of the screen and the room around him lit up. 

He looked like a walking advertisement for Hot Topic, with his tight black shirt and jeans, along with his collection of chains and spikes, but unlike the angst-ridden teens currently sporting the same style, Hiruma was no pretender. Anything on his person, he could, and would use if someone displeased him enough to make him forgo his favorite guns.

Hiruma blew a bubble. "What the fuck you staring at, fucking pipsqueak?"

Tsuna rolled his eyes. "I thought that was Sena's nickname?"

"And? You got a problem with that?"

"Even if I did, I doubt that would stop you. But never mind that, did you find anything about that seafood family?” Tsuna said moving the conversation along. If he didn't get back on the topic soon, they never would. Hiruma delighted in causing him grief and if that meant extending a conversation, he would do it.

“No,” Hiruma says with a total lack of sympathy. He completely ignores the exasperated look Tsuna gives him as he shuffles some papers into a small trashcan, seemingly uncaring of the fact that most of them didn’t actually make it in the bin. He’d probably have one of his minions clean it up later. Picking up a pencil, coated in a red liquid (Tsuna told himself it was Ketchup), Hiruma started spinning it, thinking intently.

“But I  _will_. Some fucking wimps tried to lie  _to me_.” Hiruma said blowing a bubble with his bubble gum while the pencil he's spinning turns into dust. “No one lies to me, especially over something as stupid as fucking flames—“

Tsuna blinks at the last bit. "Flames? What flames?"

"Hell if I know. Probably some cheap magic knock-off. But I will find out. Fucking puppet tried to escape me, but I got ways." Hiruma says thumbing through his black notebook. "Screamed about Omerta and families…before he tried to off himself. His zombie will be more cooperative soon enough."

Tsuna felt like ice slipped into his stomach. He knew Hiruma was a bit zealous about getting information, but he never thought his friend would be so callous. Tsuna hoped rather vainly that he was wrong.

 "... zombie...tell me you didn't...?"

Hiruma rolls his eyes. "Fuck no. He thinks I'm some sort of necromancer. He's just deluded. I re-warded the fuck out of the place, and put some fake blood and a pentagram on the floor and he ate it up. Necromancy is for wimps. "

Tsuna considers explaining that it would almost be harder for someone  _not_  to assume dark arts, let alone necromancy at this point, but he gets distracted when Hiruma started sliding some papers in front of the mirror. They were blank, but Tsuna assumes Hiruma to be using the mirror as a convenient stand, or maybe he's just tired of looking at his face he doesn't know. But still. He should make a token effort to at least get the poor prisoner some mercy even if he did lie.

“…Wolfram had nothing to do with this, remember?” Tsuna reminds him, but apparently, that doesn’t seem to matter to his former teammate. Anything to do with flames is automatically Wolfram’s fault. Just because.

“Whatever fucking twerp. If I wanted your opinion I'd ask for it." Hiruma says starting to clean one of his guns. He leans back in his seat and starts pulling it apart. "Now do you want that information or not?"

Tsuna lets the insult roll off him. “I thought you didn't have anything on them?"

Hiruma throws him an exasperated glance, looking insulted and annoyed all at once. Tsuna is mildly impressed with how well Hiruma can pull that look off.

"I might not have anything on that fucking seafood family, but I've got rumors and a work up on that dead beat you call a dad. For now." He says tosses another piece of gum into his mouth. Apparently, one piece isn't enough for a spawn of Satan.

 "Go on."

"Apparently word on the street is they've been trying to move into Namimori recently. The yakuza wimps have been causing a stir. Fucking cockroaches. Had to train a couple of them last week." He says apparently sliding his gun back together. He starts digging into one of his desk drawers presumably looking for something. What he could be looking for Tsuna doesn't know. All he can see is papers and the only thing he has to go off on is the sounds coming to the other side of the mirror.

The paper from in front of the mirror is removed, and instead, a folder is pushed through the mirror, re-appearing on the table in front of him as the material re-forms from magical pixels into reality.

Opening the folder he starts pulling out the few pages contained within. His father's name is written in black sloppy kanji written on the cover page, but the rest appear to be cities and countries crossed out multiple time. It starts small with Namimori and then moves up in size. Next is Tokyo, then Japan, then to a long list of Asian countries and then jumps all the way to Europe, where Italy is completely blacked out. It doesn't make sense to him.

"What is this?" Like, what does this even mean? Is his dad traveling, or something?

Hiruma smirks. "Thought you might be interested in this. According to the Japanese government, he doesn't exist."

 Tsuna is completely thrown by that fact.

"What? But that doesn't make sense. He should, he did get married to my mother, there's a copy of the marriage certificate in the living room..." And then it hits him. It’s fake. Turning the sheets around, he starts writing trying to list everything he's ever known about his father and comes up with an incredibly short list. This does not bode well for the problem currently eating downstairs. Goddamnit, what did he get himself into? Tossing the pencil across the table he runs a hand through his hair.

"Anything else?" He says, half joking.

Hiruma’s smile is evil.

Of course, there's more.

"I haven't even got to the interesting part. He doesn't exist in any government database. I ran him across ninety-five fucking different systems and nothing. But this came up." He snapped his fingers and one of the papers in the folder Tsuna had, transformed. Instead of the blank page, he thought it was a list of sentences and a photo appeared. It was a missing report, dated nearly forty years ago from a small village in Ragusa. The picture of the boy was badly blurred, but the picture did have enough similarities to his father to say they might be related.

"Is this him?" Tsuna asks, and can't help but wonder. 

"Bingo, fucking shorty. I took some samples from his currently living relatives and compared them to yours. His parents are your biological grandparents. The results came back a match at twenty-five percent. His parents are still kicking as well as his siblings. If I didn't know any better I'd say your dad pulled a runner and instead of joining the fucking circus, joined the underworld as a peon." He blew another bubble and then popped it, looking bored.

 Tsuna whistled wowed. "That's fast." He had only sent out that information a few hours ago.

Hiruma crackled. "I had some free time."

Tsuna blinked at that. "I thought you were in college?"

"Finished that crap last year. Now, shut up. I'm not done talking."

Tsuna made a motion, like he was zipping his mouth, and pretended to throw the key away.

Hiruma rolled his eyes at the action, before opening his blackmail notebook again. He flipped through some pages, before stopping and laying the book on the table. 

"The Italian government is the saddest fucking thing to exist," He starts off with, looking appalled.  "Nothing beyond the low grade, petty shit peons do. Mistakes all over the place. Nothing covered up properly. If the Underworld is involved, they suck. If some fucking magical flame wimps exist, and apparently they do, they aren't trying too hard."  He says turning some sheets of papers around to show some pictures, somewhat blurred out, and giant actual holes in the middle of the streets. Actual holes and if the time stamp is right, in the middle of the day—

"Is that actually on Facebook?" Tsuna asks almost not wanting to know. Because if it is that is just too pathetic for words.

"Obviously it was. Took it off some tourist account and it wasn't the only one. I had a few men case the place, and there are holes everywhere. I could take over this place in a fucking week and it’d be  _easy_..." Hiruma trails off and Tsuna knows what his teammate is planning.

Crime and cover-ups this bad are bound to be annoying for Hiruma who thrived off telling a lie and everyone believing it because he was just that good. Tsuna rubs his forehead, feeling tired. He almost feels sorry for the country, but considering this whole mess has somehow come to his door, he's not feeling too sympathetic to the Italians and their government.

Hell, if Hiruma does take over Italy, it might just be better for everyone. He could just see it now an efficient government, balanced budget, efficient workforce, and a population that would suck it up because Hiruma would be the president Italy never knew it needed or deserved—

Hiruma grins evilly and slams his blackmail book closed. "And that's all fucking I got fucking pipsqueak. I’ll send you some more crap later."

"Have fun." Tsuna waves and the screen goes black.

Stretching he moves to his feet and walking the few feet to his bed gets under the covers.

Maybe tomorrow will be better?

XXxxxXX

Tomorrow wasn't better.

In any way.

Apparently baby with a gun labored under the delusion that just because his gun-lizard didn't work yesterday, some other weapons might and thus leading to the mess Tsuna nearly tripped over in his room. Honesty, how did that electric wire and bombs ever made it through Hibari Customs, Tsuna doesn't know. He can't even begin to guess, but he wonders at the various amounts of weaponry currently creating a mess in his room. His mother calls him down for breakfast, but Tsuna is wise to her ways, and he would rather jump out a window than sit across a table and get into another argument with her because she does not know how to listen.

Actually, that's a thought.

Ignoring the rather frustrated baby in the corner trying and failing to shoot at him, Tsuna opens his bedroom window and jumps out. The grass is still a bit wet from the morning dew, but it’s nothing compared to that one trek up Death Mountain when he ended up covered in volcanic ash. Or the smell. Good god, the smell.

Shivering, from just remembering the experience, Tsuna grabs one of his spare sets of shoes from under the house's empty crawl space and slips them on. He's got a full day planned ahead of him, and if he wants to finish before midnight he'll need to hit the ground running, metaphorically. Hopping over the stone wall around the property, Tsuna picks up speed, heading in the direction of downtown. He's got people to meet.

A sharp tug against his magic shields makes him pause at one of the intersections, as a floating image starts to materialize in front of him.

Apparently, murder baby decided to try and register him at Namimori Middle and was rapidly becoming confused when Tsuna's information failed to show up on anything. Looking at the time stamp, Tsuna isn't surprised to realize that maybe this is the reason that junior back there was so frustrated this morning.

Well, the joke's on him, Tsuna's way ahead of him.

As soon as he caught wind of his mother trying to force mundane schooling on him, he took measures and had one of his former teammates ensure that it was impossible both magically and non-magically to put him back into school. It was nothing a few wards and some virus coding couldn't take care off. Even with boring babe's status as a sink, if he didn't have the technological know-how, he'd hit walls.

Waving the screen away Tsuna speeds off taking several left turns and two right turns until he finally stopped when he entered a rather small, rather eccentric shop, called  _Montage_  towards the center of downtown Namimori. Unlike the rest of the shops in the area, this particular building was flashy and far too upscale to normally be in Namimori, but the owner was an eccentric person, and he did what he wanted. Even if it was something random like put his magical workshop in the middle of a rather small town. To the normal person walking the streets, Montage was a half eccentric restaurant, half retro-chic boutique.

Tsuna waved down one of the waitresses and asked to see the Beauty Collection. Instantly the atmosphere in the boutique changed, as one of the cashiers paused in her work and picked up a phone and started dialing while another flipped a light switch near the door. The rest of the workers scatter through the employee exited looking annoyed.

Tsuna groaned already knowing what these reactions meant.

God, he just waited to talk.

There was no reason for...this insanity.

Instantly the lights faded, and one of the waitresses started narrating through the store's intercom.

"Presenting the mythical, magic man of magic himself, the Beautiful Suzuka himself!" 

The poor lady looked like she regretted every single decision she had made in her life up to this point, and Tsuna didn’t blame her. If he had to introduce a crazy, delusional multi-colored clown every time someone even hinted about wanting to speak to the manager he'd be going a little crazy too. Tsuna resists the urge to just get the hell out of dodge and very calmly takes a breath. And then another. As much as he hates dealing with the idiot, he knows if he doesn’t talk to Suzuka the baby with a gun will still following him.

But the temptation is there to just leave—

"The beautiful Suzuka has arrived!"

Well, that’s the most terrifying thing Tsuna’s heard all month. “This just gets better and better,” he sighs, facepalming. He forces himself to look anywhere but at the monstrosity of color in front of him—or attempts to. Unfortunately, as it turns out, every single reflective image in the boutique is showing Suzuka. Looking away is apparently not an option. Giving up his meager attempts to not be blinded, Tsuna finally decides to look at the clown and just cover his eyes.

He didn’t get that far, because the clothes are burning holes into his eyes.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He can't help but ask.

Suzuka smirks, and poses, snapping his fingers, so that one of his minions shines even more god-forsaken light on him. As if he doesn't have enough glitter and gemstones on him already.

"Beauty, brat. I'm wearing beautiful clothes. Why? Would you like some?" Suzuka asks shifting closer and giving Tsuna a rather long, appraising look which quickly changes into one of exasperation. Apparently, his clothes have offended Suzuka so much that he has to look down on them.

"Ugly. But if you like I could whip something up." He raises his hand as if to snap, but Tsuna is only too happy to stop him.

"No, thank you. I came because I am in need of some information."

Suzuka looks intrigued. "From ore-sama? How interesting. Speak brat with no fashion sense!"

Tsuna ignored the jab. "I don't know how or where. But a baby showed up yesterday with weapons. Actual weapons. I thought you might like to know since somehow, he managed to get through the Hibari network. " He pauses a moment to let that information sink in before he drops the real kicker. "And the baby is a sink."

Suzuka's eyes narrowed now _very_ intrigued. "Why, that is intriguing. I hadn't a single clue that a sink was in town." He says and the make-up on his face was starting to crack and burn as Suzuka's temperature rose in tune with his mood. Apparently, he wasn't the only one caught off guard. Someone is probably going to be in pain for this oversight later, but Tsuna can't really find it in himself to care. Caring is sharing. If Tsuna has to put with flames and gun babies and mayhem, he is damn well not going to keep it to himself. Besides, sinks are one of the few weakness he has. His teammates can stand to do something for once considering how much time he spends cleaning up after their messes, they can do him a favor.

After all, to a mage, sinks are annoying little problems that are difficult to deal with considering most magic will pretty much bounce off of them and then there's fact that this particular sink managed to not only get all the way into Namimori but bring in weapons was troubling. Even if the sink managed to wave off the wards, coming into Namimori should have sent all sorts of alarms off. The fact that Suzuka didn’t know meant problems. Big problems. Likely, this meant that there was a problem with the wards somehow, or there was a traitor in the organization. Maybe more than one.

Either way that meant work, actual work Suzuka was going to have to do to figure out this mess.

Suzuka hated work like he hated ugliness.

Tsuna backed away, as smoke started to appear around the clown. “Your make-up is melting.” He said waving a hand in front of his face. By the goddesses, burning make-up smelled horrible.

And like that the temperature returned to normal.

One of the workers handed Suzuka a towel while another brought his make case. A third worker started chanting a wind spell, no doubt trying to clean the air. Suzuka takes the towel and steps back.

“Excuse me, that wasn’t very beautiful.” He tells Tsuna wiping down his face and gently handing the towel back to his employee before gathering up his make-up case and disappearing into the back. “I will back quickly. Be a patient little magician while I'm gone.”

Tsuna shrugged not really bothered to wait.

If Suzuka needed to powder his noses, he’d let him. He was not going to be the person getting in-between the man and his make-up. It was not the hill he wanted to die on. If nothing else he would use the time to send off some mail. Waving his hand in the air, he re-summons his magical mirror and starts writing. Page after page until he's done. Then he copies out the information in several sets and sends the letters off via magical inbox, and settles into to wait.

Even though he had originally planned to meet his teammates in person, that plan was quickly shot down after he realized that explaining the situation was going to be more time intensive than he thought—

A black blur out of the corner of his eye makes him turn towards the window. It was none other than murder baby himself.

Tsuna sighs.

And now, his stalker has somehow managed to find him.

Well, isn't that creepy?

A chill goes up his spine at the thought. He hated the feeling of deja vu from his newest problem. He already had one stalker he needed to constantly stay away from. He didn't need another in the form of a murderous Kokiri. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he turns and makes his way to one of the dressing room's waiting chairs. He has no idea how long Suzuka will take so he might as well be comfortable.

A  small table appears in front of him and one of the employees from earlier starts laying out a tea set and some snacks. Tsuna is sipping at his tea when the silence is broken by one of the younger employees pointing at the window.

“Is he here for you?” She asks looking at the spot on the window.

Tsuna groans. “Technically he’s my stalker.”

She nods before asking the question, he really doesn’t want to answer. “Why?”

“Because life hates me.” He says gravely. 

And because the lady is made of stronger stuff than the normal person. Her next question actually makes him feel better.

“Do you want me to call the cops?”

He laughs.

He wishes.

Lucky he doesn’t have to wish too long, because Suzuka appears back in the lobby, looking fresh and powdered up with tons of make-up. His eyes burn but at least his…teammate is happy. 

(They are not friends. Tsuna doesn’t have friends. He is a lone wolf. Fierce and dangerous and he must be cool and—)

He feels his hair being patted. He looks up to see the hell of glitter and a face caked on with make-up.

“Stop patting my hair.”

“I will not apologize. Your hair is your only redeeming quality." Then Suzuka looks in the direction of the window, "Though what is that hideous thing in the window?”

Tsuna groans yet again. “That’s the sink.”

Suzuka blinks. “I thought he be…taller.”

Tsuna turns to stare at him. What does height have to with anything? A sink is a sink is a sink. They need to focus on the main problem, not random stats like the height or lack of it in the sink. He turns ready to tell Suzuka that but then remembers who he’s talking to and then figures it’s better not to go there. The more Suzuka is caught up in other things, the less likely he is to murder the baby.

Though now, that he is looking that way Tsuna starts to wonder. Magic doesn’t work on sinks, nor does wards. So how is Boring babe still stuck outside?

“How is that window keeping him out?” He asks curiously.

Suzuka smiles. “Spirit stones. Sinks can’t affect spirit stones, and luckily I have just the talented little stone crafter in my employ.” He points to the lady that was offering to call the police for Tsuna earlier.

Tsuna blinks at her. “You sure you want to work here?” He asks her. “Suzuka lost his marbles.”

She laughs and smiling at him, nods.

Suzuka hisses at him. “How dare you! I am an amazing boss and—“

Tsuna takes a cookie off the table and stuffs it into Suzuka's mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opion Magic Guild: The top guild in the world. Made up of the majority of the top twenty of people from every field from swordsmanship to spellcrafting (with the exception of the mafia, because apparently, they are a thing) the guild is new having only been around for a year. Most members are lone wolves doing whatever they want, however, they do follow a basic set of rules. No fighting amongst themselves without a mediator to oversee the fight. No creating weapons for any governments. Anything released to the general public must be strictly controlled and regulated. Ranks are from S-Class to G-Class, with S-Class being the best.
> 
> Hiruma Yoichi: A high-level informant that specializes in tricks, lies and underhanded fighting. He is around a rank B in firearms but has yet to be officially ranked (it's too bothersome), and a C Class in magic processes. There is little known about him, and he rarely takes jobs preferring instead to mess with world politics behind the scenes. There is little he doesn't know, and only a few other people can match his skills in information gathering. He was previously on a team with Tsuna. Dates and missions unknown. Currently a fighter Class. Saboteur (A-Rank).
> 
> The beautiful Suzuka: A licensed warder and excellent support he bounces back between Saboteur and Synergist. During the great war, Suzuka made a name for himself by keeping a number of strongholds safe from invading forces until reinforcements could arrive. Although well regarded, his personality is terrible. He respects few people and interacts only very rarely with anyone outside his core team. Currently a support class. Synergist (B+ Rank) and Saboteur (C+ Rank).
> 
> Spirit Stones or "Shaman Gems": are magical items naturally found around the earth's leylines. Powerful in their own right, and rare, it is known as one of the ten artifacts that nullification does not work on. This includes Sinks and magic jammers.
> 
> Stone Crafter: A mage specialized in stone working. The profession was nearly destroyed during the Great Sickness after Columbus arrived on North America, but slowly their numbers are glowing. Currently, stone crafters are highly sought after for their powerful and beautiful works.


End file.
